“The jerk doctor also told me i should take up rollerblading.”

“Which resulted with me waking up in the hospital to a nurse shoving a needle into the corner of my eye.”

"I split some membrane in my recently descended testicles.”

"Luckily, my mom’s friend was coming over for a visit, saw me lying on the side of the road, and took me home.”

"My friend lost a lung and I got stabbed in the shoulder and had to get rushed into surgery." Read more about Omar's anatomy here...

It looked like a twisted up pork chop when I pulled it out...