Lost and Found | Bo Turner

LOST AND FOUND:

Bo Turner

Words: Mike Sinclair PARENTAL ADVISORY: MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR ALL AGES AND SOME PROS’ FEELINGS

Words can’t really describe Bo Turner. You just had to witness him and his skating for yourself. If you missed out, you’re bummed because Bo was awesome. He speaks the truth and sometimes the truth hurts peoples’ feelings. Oh well...Bo is a man of his word and I wish there were more people like him in skateboarding today.

When and why did you retire from professional skateboarding?
I kind of remember when I got out. It was somewhere in 1997 or 1998. My life had gotten so f**ked up trying to keep the dream alive, like a lot of those old assholes I used to make fun of back in the day, the ones I said I would never be like. I got too into the partying and never got out. Drinking all night, looking for trouble. It kind of sounds stupid, but I kind of fell in with some f**king idiots and never got out. I also had a great kid with a piece-of-shit person and she also helped destroy me and my career. I’m talking Jerry Springer shit, but now I’m married to the best chick in the world and I have two more boys and one more coming. That’s right, world, there will be a total of four Turner boys on the planet and they’re gonna be ready to put this skating shit on the map.

Who are the worst dudes you ever met in the industry?
The worst dudes I ever met in the industry were a lot of skaters and most owners. A lot of problems I had with people stemmed from their attitudes, like Jamie Thomas and Chad Muska. I would meet these people and be, like, “These guys are such f**king fags.” You know, assholes so stuck on themselves. It was f**king retarded. I would say something about it to someone and their response was, “But they’re so gnarly.” Who gives a f**k? They’re f**king assholes and I would treat them like assholes and that would get me in trouble. To this day, I still say, “F**k all of them and f**k all of the others.” You know who you are. That’s why I won’t go to a Tampa contest, because I’ll wind up seeing somebody and kill them and go to prison. Most of the owners were a bunch of old-ass men still trying to live their dream or they were just in it for the girls or the money they could take from the kids. All these guys had no f**king talent anyway and were just pieces of shit. See, the problem now is all the young guys see this and think this is the way to run it and they are terribly wrong.

Who were some of the best guys in the industry and what did they do for you?
Some of the best guys in the industry were from Alien Workshop for what they were trying to do. Tony Hawk and Lance Mountain and all those guys who were really just trying to do it right. The only shitty thing is a lot of the guys that deserved to succeed didn’t and a lot of the f**king scumbag f**ks that should f**king hang themselves did [succeed].

What was f**ked up about the industry in the ’90s?
The industry in the ’90s was f**ked up because any little prick that could flip their board 800 times and land on it would have a video part just doing that and turn pro. The industry was trying to find itself an identity and where to fit in the mainstream. It was so overflooded with fly-by-night companies and f**king faggot-ass pros who could only do stupid shit at that time. I remember getting caught up in that bullshit too and then saying, “What the f**k am I doing? This is not skating!” The owners would promise the world and deliver shit. I’ve seen a lot of good guys get dicked like that. I still skate sometimes now, but when I want and how I want. It’s hard to find a deck that holds a 265-pound body.

Do you remember watching the first issue of 411 Europe with myself and a few others, taking the tape out of the VCR, stomping it to pieces in the skateshop and saying, “Who gives a f**k what’s going on in Europe?” not saying another word and going home?
Well, in my eyes, who gave a shit about those fags? I mean, all I could think about was some goofy-looking pale guy with some gay French accent who had rotten teeth and never took showers. I mean, when you think of skateboarding, you think America, specifically California. I didn’t care what they were doing. In my eyes, they didn’t count. F**k them.

If you were a pro skateboarder today and you rode for one of the biggest companies but you were only taking home $1,000 a month, what would you say to the company owner?
Let me just tell you guys right now: You guys who are skating right now are getting f**ked hard. When I got out and got into the real world, I got a job at a local auto garage because that’s the only other thing I knew at the time. I was making in one week what I was making in a month [skating], but you all accept that because you don’t know anything else. If a guy at McDonald’s is making 10 dollars an hour working 40 hours a week, he’s making $1,600 a month—more than you do. Do you think he works harder than you? F**k no. Listen to me: my first year out of skating I was making $70,000. If you are getting paid $1,000 a month, that’s 12,000 dollars a year and that’s f**king poverty. A lot of these kids don’t care and the owners are getting everything. Wake up, f**kheads. Why do you think they’re still there? Demand more money.

What would you do if you owned a big skate company like Baker, Zero, or Girl?
I would try to modernize it with insurance and retirement. The young pros need to think about their futures because I never did.

How many people ollied a shopping cart before you?
Well, me and Scott Conklin would always try to do big things but we were just real good at ollieing high. We would set stuff up behind speed bumps all the time and ollie them. One day we pulled out a shopping cart and ollied it. Then we just would do small ones off flat and then bigger ones till people were just like, “What the f**k?”

What would you do if Ryan Sheckler was one of your kids?
Well, Ryan is a great performance skater. He does good in front of crowds, but I wouldn’t have so much drama in his life like his f**ked up parents. They’re so wrapped up in themselves and sucking off their kids; they could care less about how it is affecting their kids. People need to wake up. Now I’m sure I’ll get shit for saying that, but I’ve only met Sheckler for two seconds at the Tampa park when they were filming Rob Dyrdek’s flop of a movie, and he seemed like a nice kid. But watching his show sometimes, it seems that all of his problems stem from two things: pussy and f**ked-up parents.

What is the dumbest thing you’ve heard another professional skateboarder say?
Well, two things. One was my good ol’ buddy Rob Dyrdek. I hadn’t talked to him in a while and this was after his big shoe deal with DC and he was starting to make real money. He asked me where I was working and I told him I was running a garage and he asked me how much I was making, which at the time wasn’t really relevant to me. I was just glad to talk to the guy I hadn’t seen in years, so I told him at the time I was making about 70 thousand a year, and his response was, “I don’t sign a contract for less then 80 thousand a year.” I knew then that he’d turned into the little prick I always thought he was. You see, he and I were like brothers at one time, and now he’s Hollywood Rob. The second dumbest thing was Bill Weiss. He was drunk one night and said, “I’m not gay, just curious.” Now, people say the truth comes out when you’re drunk. That night I’m just glad I didn’t pass out next to him.

If you bought a board today, what would you buy?
I don’t know, probably an Alien Workshop. I really don’t think I would spend the money, to be honest with you. I would call up Alien and tell them to send me some shit or else.



“SO, NATURALLY, I BROKE A MOP HANDLE OVER GENTRY’S HEAD AND HE COULDN’T SKATE IN THE CONTEST THE NEXT DAY.”



Do you still got beef with Chris Gentry?
The whole beef I had with him was because of a fight at an afterparty at a Houston contest. He sucker-punched Scott [Conklin] in the face because Scott threw a beer at Steve Berra, who was a good friend of Scott’s, as a joke. Chris came stomping around the corner saying, “Who threw it?” Scott said, “I did,” so Gentry said, “Oh, it’s cool,” and put his hand out to shake Scott’s. And when Scott went to shake his hand, Chris hit Scott. So, naturally, I broke a mop handle over Gentry’s head and he couldn’t skate in the contest the next day. I’ll be honest, the whole white rapper thing to me was the biggest joke ever. Look, there are just some things white people shouldn’t do, and rapping is f**king one of them. Gentry is a f**kin’ clown. Sorry, Eminem, you’re a fag too.

Do you remember Cairo before anybody knew who Cairo was? He wore glasses and he did a nollie hardflip over the bench at the Skatepark of Tampa. You ran into the shop all pissed off and said, “Some f**king nerd just nollie hardflipped the godamn bench.”
That just goes back to what I was saying about people in the industy. Anyone could be good, even f**king nerds like Cairo. Other pros, I don’t care how good you are, you don’t nollie hardflip a bench with Coke bottle glasses, Jnco jeans that are 10 sizes too big, and a huggie pink shirt at the Skatepark of Tampa and not get made fun of.

What are some bullshit trends you see going on in skateboarding right now?
People are not being true to themselves and just following the pack to be cool. I don’t like rap music. Never really did. I just had to put up with it ’cause every motherf**ker I stayed with out West had a f**king set of turntables and didn’t know how to use them. Sorry, John Drake and Danny Mayer. You too, Rob Dyrdek. And every asshole out there had to smoke weed. I hated weed. Yes, I said it, f**k weed. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do and always be true to yourself.

What are you up to these days?
Well, I’m into a lot of things these days. I go to the gym five to six days a week and lift weights. It helps me with my aggression. I’m into power lifting and can bench 500 pounds, curl 185 pounds 10 times, and some other shit. Mainly power lifting. I’m married to a wonderful woman and have three kids with her and another from a previous thing. I work five days a week managing a successful auto garage in Seminole, Florida. I still see Scott from time to time. He came over for the Superbowl. I don’t really see Lance [Conklin] at all. He lives in Cali. John Montessi put a signature board out for me not too long ago. My wife is on it. If I ever had a say in my old graphics, that is what they would have looked like. Thanks, John.

You got any last-minute thanks or any unsquashed beef?
I love my wife and kids. Thanks to Mike Daher for helping me all the time. F**k you, Jason Lee. My kids are going to take over the world soon, so get ready; they’re coming. Freddy Gall, you’re still my little brother. Josh Kalis, if I ever see you again, I will f**king murder you. Don’t call Sarge and ask why. You know why, you f**king coward. To all my friends: I still love you all (except Bill Wiess and Justin Bokma). Justin, stay away or you will get hurt bad. To you guys in Toronto, I love you too. Simon, if you ever come to my house drunk and spilling beer again, I will f**king hang you. F**k all of you.